May 2019. Hello! A quick note from 2019 Riz :)
Hey guys, I wrote this post in 2012 but it still gets the most amount of traffic of all the pages in this blog. Every now and then I get some questions and critics, and yes, I see you, and I understand where you’re coming from.
This made me think of two things: First, that many of you are searching for answers on how to deal “when God takes something away” on Google. I’m glad that your search led you to this page, but now that you’re here, I’d like to point you to the Word of God which is the most reliable source we all could have.
Second, that I needed a lot of growing up from the time I wrote this post. There are many layers surrounding this topic that I couldn’t have covered 6 years ago. I didn’t think about unborn children, or school shooting, or cancer, or injustice. I did talk about death and losing my Dad when I was 24 years old. Admittedly, I could have used better terminologies, or referenced the Scripture more.
In any case, I still believe most of what I said in this post, however seemingly shallow the illustrations I used. Now a little wiser and eyes more wide open to what’s happening in the world, I still believe with all my heart that He is the Giver of all gifts and Sovereign in all things, in all seasons, at all times—whether we understand it or not.
I thought of repurposing this content with more solid doctrine. In the end, however, I decided to keep it as it is, the way I understood this concept in 2012. :)
March 2012. A few weeks ago, we lost my husband’s Android phone in a cab and never got it back. Losing a phone is such a hassle. We had to report the stolen sim card, rebuild our contacts from scratch, and adjust our budget to buy a replacement.
But the worst part is losing all the memories that were stored in it—photos and videos from our time in New York, long-distance text messages sent from two years ago. It was also the same phone that got us through our long-distance relationship, just like the laptops that were stolen 5 months ago.
I know what you’re thinking. It’s just a gadget, Riz! Still, it strikes me and my husband how God seems to be stripping us off things we used to hold on to in the past, and giving us a clean canvass to paint new memories with. And maybe losing a phone is a mere representation of that, but I believe that mostly, God is doing some general cleaning inside of us.
Three things I learned about losing things:
(And by “things” I mean material possessions, dreams, jobs, people we love—stuff that are tangible and intangible.)
When God takes something away, He replaces it with the best
And no, it doesn’t always mean a better phone, or a better job. It doesn’t always mean more. When we lost our laptops, it took us about 2 months before we were able to buy a new one. Two laptops lost, and God replaced it with one new laptop, not three. But what we gained from that experience is more than just material gratification. In exchange for what was stolen from us, God gave us joy, and contentment, and more quality time together. ;)
When I lost my home-based job, God didn’t replace it with a higher-paying job or a job with less working hours. Instead, He gave me job security, health insurance for me and my husband, and the opportunity to work with people again. God replaces good things in our lives with the best, and in ways we don’t expect.
When God takes something away, it’s most likely not good for us
We sometimes hold on to stuff that are not doing us good, people that are holding us back, dreams that are taking us away from our true calling. Sometimes we don’t realize that we’re carrying too many excess baggage, preventing us from running light. So God takes them away even if we get hurt in the process, and when He does, He’s actually releasing us from more pain.
And mind you, God is more stubborn than we can ever be. So rather than playing tug of war with God, or rather than being angry at Him, just let go. Open your palm and release from your kung-fu tight grip what He’s clearly taking away from you. Trust that He knows what’s best.
When God takes something away, sometimes we don’t have to know why
One thing my husband and I learned over the past year is how everything is under God’s prerogative. He gives and takes away, He alters schedules and plans, He accomplishes His will whatever it takes—even if it requires parting oceans and sending His own Son to die. He sees things from a bigger perspective, and when things do not make sense to us, to Him, everything is happening according to plan.
When God took my Dad home, He didn’t replace him with someone else—there’s just no way my Dad could ever be replaced in my life. There are losses that are better left unexplained, lest we start questioning God’s goodness. The key to acceptance is believing in your heart that God knows what He’s doing and that He means well. He is sovereign above all things, and He will have His way when He pleases and for His glory. Maybe God will reveal answers in this lifetime, maybe not. It doesn’t matter.
We don’t always have to know why. What matters is, He does.
Must-Read Books about Loss, Grief and Adversities.. and Finding Joy and Purpose in the Midst of Suffering
Here are some books that you might find relevant as you seek your own journey through loss and grief. I’ll keep updating this list whenever I can.
And Still She Laughs
Defiant Joy in the Depths of Suffering
by Kate Merrick
Kate Merrick examines the Bible’s gritty stories of resilient women as well as her own experience losing a child-a journey followed by more than a million on prayfordaisy.com-to reveal the reality of surprising joy and deep hope even in the midst of heartache. Is it possible live fully-even joyfully-in the middle of overwhelming pain?
In the excruciating aftermath of her young daughter’s death from cancer, Kate Merrick struggled to find a way to live. Not just to survive or go through the motions, but to live fully. Faithfully. With real joy amid inevitable tears. To discover how, Kate delved into the stories in the Bible of real women who suffered deeply and emerged somehow joyful.
BUY THIS BOOK
Hope When It Hurts
Biblical Reflections to Help You Grasp God’s Purpose in Your Suffering
by Kristen Wetherell
Suffering is real. But so is hope. Kristen and Sarah have walked through, and are walking in, difficult times. So these thirty biblical reflections are full of realism about the hurts of life yet overwhelmingly full of hope about the God who gives life. This book will gently encourage and greatly help any woman who is struggling with suffering whether physical, emotional or psychological, and whether for a season or for longer.
It is a book to buy for yourself, or to buy for a member of your church or friend. For anyone who is hurting, this book will give hope, not just for life beyond the suffering, but for life in the suffering. Each chapter contains a biblical reflection, with questions and prayers, and a space for journaling.
BUY THIS BOOK
You’ll Get Through This
Hope and Help for Your Turbulent Times
by Max Lucado
In You’ll Get Through This, pastor and New York Times best-selling author, Max Lucado offers sweet assurance. “Deliverance is to the Bible what jazz music is to Mardi Gras: bold, brassy, and everywhere.” Max reminds readers God doesn’t promise that getting through trials will be quick or painless. It wasn’t for Joseph–tossed in a pit by his brothers, sold into slavery, wrongfully imprisoned, forgotten and dismissed–but his Old Testament story is in the Bible for this reason: to teach us to trust God to trump evil.
With the compassion of a pastor, the heart of a storyteller, and the joy of one who has seen what God can do, Max explores the story of Joseph and the truth of Genesis 50:20. What Satan intends for evil, God redeems for good.
BUY THIS BOOK
My experience so far has been this:
Jesus said belief is the main ingredient to getting anything we want. If we are a true Christian our wants will be pure. Sin causes confusion and doubt negating our belief which is the major cause of struggle for the Christian. Sin needs to be conquered first before a true Christian can move forward. Those sinning profusely while seemingly having everything they desire are going to have to answer eventually. Be glad God is making you answer now.
God has recently taken me to the truths of Mental Science. He has done this because my sin life is (finally) well under control. The universe works according to laws. The fact that sin causes confusion can be thought of as a law. Nature is also a law. For example, if you plant a seed for a tree nature will cause that seed to grow into a tree. You must plant a seed for a flower for a flower to grow. Think of a field of wild flowers. The law of nature mandates they grow wildly until they reach unfavorable ground.
Nature and The Earth were created to allow humans to grow abundantly. There are no limits (Think about that). The only restriction is belief, as Jesus said. But remember, sin short-circuts belief. Once you realize this truth it is imperative you get your sin life under serious control. Next, it is imperative you change your thoughts to the truth. You must believe the truth that God is good and the author of Life, Abundance, Love, Peace, etc. (Think of the wild flowers) and He wants you to live abundately. The law of nature is clear.
It is Satan that is the author of confusion, doubt, poverty, fear, etc. The law states that if you give part of your life to sin, you WILL be negatively effected. There is no getting around it. God is not in Heaven making value judgements on each individual. The law states that sin will do its work on you. You cannot rationalize sin away. Disobedience brings a curse, The Bible is clear on this. Adam knew full well the law of the curse.
These are not salvation issues. If you trust Jesus for His Sacrifice for your sins you are saved. Now the question is are you going to use the laws of abundant nature to your advantage? If so you must conquer sin with zero rationalization.
You have to believe and trust God implicitly that He is on your side and has created a Law for you to live abundantly. If there is something in your life He has taken away you have to trust it is for your own good. If you do not believe this struggle is going to be an everyday occurance. Once believed, it is easy to give things up because of your trust in God. I can categorically say God would never take something away from you that in the long run was not in your best interest. When you believe this life is so much easier.
Proverbs 19:8 He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul, He that keepeth understanding shall find good.
If we read the Word of God in Job 1:21, although Job says Naked I came from my mother’s womb, naked I’ll return to the womb of the earth. God gives, God takes. God’s name be ever blessed. However Job did not have the benefit of the Bible nor did he know the “backdrop” of these events where it was Satan who did the taking away; albeit with God’s permission. We need to get this straight. God did not initiate the taking away. Yes – we are called to trust God through tests and trials. I think a little more research must be done on this often quoted scripture or the assumption that if something or someone is taken away from us – that it is God’s doing. He does make all things work together for good for those who trust him.
I think you need to read Job 42:11.
If you trust God’s Word, then it’s obvious you are in error here.
Thanks for the post Riz. Losing your dad I’m sure trumped phones and laptops but I understand about the photos. I feel like God took everything from me not just a few things including my family, wife, house, dignity, a sense of trust when my wife decided to divorce me and kick me out of the house. Not only that but in order to win in court she decided that she would attack my character and convince everyone that I had abused everyone in my life. Five years later and none of those things are replaced. I lost friends and family to boot despite very few things that she said being the truth. How does one deal with this type of loss? I noticed that you had a partner through your ordeal. God was gracious to you. I struggle now to hear His voice or get a sense of any direction now in my life. His answer to everything is either no answer or an occasional “no” perhaps if I’m hearing Him correctly.
Hi Michael, I wish there’s something I could say to make it all better. But I hope that you would cling on to Him a little longer, lean in even closer, especially when it feels like taking one blow after another. There’s no way around grief but through it, I hear a pastor say, but if we keep going and we keep trusting His goodness, we will come out on the other side better and stronger and wiser. Prayed for you today, Michael! God bless.
I am so sorry, Michael. That is devastating.
Yet, I can’t help but read stories like yours and ask myself: “Is that all? Wish I were in such a position.”
You may realize where I am coming from. Six years of incessant suffering; and things keep getting worse.
Some of us never get their good break on this side of eternity. I sometimes wonder whether I’m among those.
I pray you have found peace and help by now.
This is a great example of what’s known as blind faith. Unquestioning compliance to things God does to you that should naturally make you think, what? Why? Questioning God’s goodness is one thing, but I’d argue that questioning anything else about Him is essential to strengthening your faith. But what you’re doing here is teaching people that there’s nothing to be gained from asking why God would do something that hurts them under any circumstances. If people take this to heart, this will ultimately lead to a lack of a want to educate themselves about God. Yes, you can give the argument of Isaiah 55:8-9, but that doesn’t change the fact that God still does reveal his ways to us in other ways and other places.
Something else I see here is an overspiritualization of things that are more than likely nothing but human error in the case of lost possessions or jobs, or hard work on your own part in the case of things that you gain. God doesn’t usually interfere in your life through things that are usually relatively trivial like lost phones. This usually leads to people blaming God for things that they think he’s been working in when he really hasn’t.
Just a few things I noticed here. Try to keep this in mind when thinking about your spiritual life.
Hello Anorack, thank you for taking time to post a comment. You are correct, and I agree, that questioning Him is essential in strengthening our faith and deepening our relationship with Him. This is why I wrote a disclaimer at the top of this post. When I wrote this in 2012, it was the lost of a phone that mostly inspired me to think about these things hence blog about it. I did use my dad’s death as an illustration here too — which is arguably something that isn’t trivial or a result of human error. I lost my Dad when I was 24, I asked God “why me” or “why my Dad” many times (I still do), but even in that grief and even in not finding answers, I’ve grown to love and trust God’s sovereignty even more.
You said it yourself, God reveals his ways to us in many ways, and at that time, God communicated to me in a level I understood and in a manner that resonated to me.
I also believe that God communicates with each of us uniquely and sometimes in ways that seem trivial to others. He uses the language of our hearts, in the same way that He used a story about a lamb when Nathan rebuked David (2 Samuel 12:1-12). Since David was a shepherd boy, the sheep illustration hit close to home for him, leading him to realize his sins and to repent. Losing a sheep in their time may be as trivial as, say, losing a puppy in the modern days. (Okay maybe there’s no comparison really, but I hope you get what I mean.)
My point is, for some reason God used these seemingly trivial things to speak to me at the time I wrote this post. Back then, losing a phone, a laptop, and a job meant so much to us — a newly married couple (in a one-income household) who didn’t have a lot of savings and had to pray HARD, work HARD, and sacrifice a lot of things just so we can replace the things that we lost. Kinda like the poor man who had one little lamb in Nathan’s story too, right?
This was a personal reflection that doesn’t really have to resonate with everyone but gave me an intro to a concept that’s just too broad and too deep for humans to fathom and articulate into words.
As I said in my disclaimer, I wish I could edit a few things or change some of the words I used in this post, maybe even repurpose the content. But I decided to keep it as it is, the way I understood this concept in 2012. :)
Thank you again for taking time to share your thoughts. Much appreciated. <3
Hey, I have this article saved on my home screen. It has helped me that much. I was going through a break up and it just spoke to my situation perfectly. Thank you! May God bless you.
I wish I had this much faith.. I’ve been trying to trust in God but it seems like he’s taking EVERYTHING left and right. Healthcare, financial security, relationships etc. I know I have him but I feel I’m left with nothing. Trying to keep my head up but it’s hard
I think this deserves a response even though there’s no silver lining here. This is reality. Some of us suffer more than others. I truly believe that. One day there will be justice and it may not be right now. I’m still waiting and I’m with you on this. The one hope I cling to is that God will right every wrong Rom. 8:22-23. He is redeeming us.
He is redeeming us. — Amen.
Thank you for sharing,
This is a very good way to say it.. God gives and God takes away, be His Name blessed!
Thanks, I needed something to help me with a Children’s church about Ezekiel 29.
FElixa
This makes as much sence as a fortune cookie . I do my best work hard and the more i work the furthure behind i get . i love hunting and the good lord rewards guys who break the laws to sucseed . Either offer good for the good or zip your yap . Its like saying those who anger you control you . Really thats the best there is ?!
If God took something living or a blessing away from you to depend on and believe in him and love him more, then what is the point of loving what he gave you?. I went through a very difficult time a few years back. Having no family and friends to depend on, I was all alone. Even tried to commit suicide. I was so depressed and suffer from chronic depression till this day. God Blessed me with 4 beautiful dogs who he sent to show me love and devotion. I thanked him every day for them and thank God for protecting them. In January /February my 2 girls died very suddenly and my 2 boys had to go for serious operations. If this was His way on telling me that I should focus on him more, then I have to say, God is spiteful and mean. All this has done is make me severely depressed and deveated. My faith is gone. How can God bless me and then take everything from me? How can he expect me to “concentrate more on him” when all the time I fear he will take more from me. All this has showed me is not that God wants me to love him or believe in him more, but that there is no hope of being happy or loving what he gave me, as he will take anything I live away from me. God has failed in showing me to put more in him, living in him and loving him more. He took my spirit, my happiness and my faith away.
ed my life then took everything from me
Thank u so much Riz,I really needed to hear this.im going through a divorce that my husband filed against me.however after reading your blog,thank u Jesus.i now know I just need to let go and let God.no matter how much it hurts,I always want God’s will and his plan for my life.its time to leave everything in His hands.thank u again.
I really love going around your blog. I’ve been reading a lot now and somehow, this post reminds me of the sovereign power of God and how every circumstance in our lives is crafted carefully to fulfill his purpose. :D
We actually don’t deserve what we have today… If it wasn’t for Noah finding grace from God, We all wouldn’t be here today… I hope everything gets better for you soon bro…
this is something that i needed to read today. my husband and i lost our first baby 12-30-13, i was 22 weeks and 3 days along when he came, he lived for 1 hour and 15 min, i was blessed with that amount of time with my son. i don’t know why God chose to take my baby boy away from us but he has a plan for us and in time we will know why Locklynn was taken to heaven so soon.
Hi Charlynn, There’s no easy way to respond to your comment, I know nothing anyone could ever say would lessen the pain. I’m glad to hear you’re holding on to the promise that God has a plan for you, and a purpose for Locklynn’s short life. Sending a quick prayer (and cyber hugs) your way. God bless!
I really your posts Riz :) I’m so glad I met you in Write on, Mom :)
Hi Chrissy! Glad to have met you too! See you on Saturday! :)
Great post! This is just the topic that I was researching and stubled upon this wonderful post! Do you know of any scripture that supports this? I’m looking for an encouraging word for a friend. Thanks!
Hi Ashley, it says in Joel 2:25 “And I will restore the years that locusts have eaten” A symbol of God’s power to restore and replace even years that were lost. :) And of course there’s Isaiah 55:8-9, a favorite. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Thanks for dropping this blog :)
thank you for sharing this.. it’s my first time to visit your blog, kakahanap ko ng calligraphy, napunta ako dito… wala talagang accident kay Lord.. i’m in the middle of finding what i really want to do in life and steps i must take.. lost lang =( so i am really blessed to read this and be reminded how good our God is all the time.. God bless you sis and your family!
I was searching on God and chasing dreams to sorta inspire me and calm me. When I came across your posting.
God bless you, you have reminded me of God’s works in my life. As Im going thru a little difficult moment in my life.
Hi Mav, Whatever you’re going through, I believe that God is doing something beyond anything you ever hoped for or imagined. :) Thanks for dropping by. Go bless you too!
nice msg….
Hello Kristin, the thing is, even if you don’t “share with God” or you don’t tell Him about this new guy or this or that, He already knows about them! He is omniscient and omnipresent after all. :) I don’t know what you’re going through or what you’ve been through in the past, but I do understand that having one failed relationship after another can be really heartbreaking and tiring. Been there, trust me! But through it all, I never once questioned God or doubted His goodness. When a relationship fails, or when a suitor backs out, it’s not because God is being unfair, it’s mostly just that the guy or the relationship is not meant to be.
Besides, if he gives up, leaves, or backs out on you.. then you shouldn’t settle! You deserve to be fought for! :)
I guess I can only assure you that once God gives you the right person, then you’ll know that “it’s actually obtainable.” :)
Nice entry Riz. Keep inspiring people. :)
I think it was God’s way of telling you that the best memories are what we store in our hearts and minds, and not what’s on our hard drives, but yes, I do understand the grief of losing those pictures/content/giga memories accumulated over the memories (I’ve gone through that a lot of times too–drove me crazy). Go and make new memories, Riz and David! Thanks for this wonderful post (amazing how you still manage to blog while wearing multiple hats, huh!).
Very true. Thanks, K!
Blogging is therapeutic for me. Sometimes, I feel like, the more I’m stressed out, the more I blog! :)
Hi Riz! I love reading your posts. Very inspiring. :) Nega ako lage but I always feel good after reading your blog.:)
Alaina! I almost didn’t recognize you because of the new name. :) Blogging–better than writing thesis! :) Ako rin nega lagi, but I’m learning to be more positive. Nice to see you here!
This is such an inspiring post. Thanks, Riz! I really needed this! :)
Happy to have inspired you in a way, thanks M! :)
I want a faith like yours. :(
Reflecting on this:
God takes them away even if we get hurt in the process, and when He does, He’s actually releasing us from more pain…
Just keep rising up from every fall Shadz, that’s the faith I’ve grown to have. I’m not much of a role model too, I fail many times, but I make it a point to keep trying. ;)