You, three, keep me going.
Thanks for being worth all the cramps, and muscle pains, and long days, and sleepless nights,
and everything that comes with this whole nine months.
Month: September 2012
Week 30: Through Good and Bad Days
I’ve been going through a lot of rough days lately. I wake up and go through the day with all sorts of pain in literally all parts of my body, and I have to endure looong trips from home to work and back each day. Sometimes I can’t point exactly where the pain is coming from anymore; all I know is, sleeping, walking, standing up and even breathing takes a lot more effort now than ever.
Plus my baby bump is HUGE! The photos above were taken about a month ago, so I’ve grown significantly bigger since then. To illustrate how big my bump is, last week during my pre-natal checkup, two other pregnant mommies were in the waiting room with me. After some small talk, I learned that they were already in their 9th month of pregnancy.. and yet, my 30-week old tummy was still bigger than theirs. It’s heavy, and it’s no joke having to carry around additional 40 pounds of placenta, amniotic fluid, and two actively kicking babies, while balancing them with my short, chubby legs.
But God sends angels to help me through each day—strangers who willingly give up their seats for me in crowded trains, churchmates and colleagues who thoughtfully bring me cookies and pastries, godmothers who hand-me-down maternity dresses, family and friends who volunteer to drive and run errands for us, prayer warriors everywhere.
And then there’s my husband who tells me I’m beautiful even when all I feel is fat and ugly, who holds my hand through a contraction or a cramp, and listens intently when I rant about the challenges of my day, and makes room in our budget for occasional shopping sprees when I’m feeling sad about not having anything to wear anymore, and picks me up from work everyday without fail.
And then there’s these two little angels who nudge me from within—fetal movements that, to me, translate to “We love you, Mommy!“, or “We’re okay Mommy, don’t worry about us!“, or “You’re not alone Mommy, we’re here.”
I’m surrounded by love everyday.
Sure, there may be moments of weakness.. days when I wish for this phase to be over and done with already; or moments when I feel sad about not being able to wear heels; or times when I get scared about going under the knife. But mostly there is just pure joy, and sheer excitement, and childlike wonder, and a lot of marveling at how intricately God creates life and how He takes care of His children.
This pregnancy is doing me good. I want to remember this time of my life forever.
*Word art by Paislee Press, thank you.
Week 28: What To Expect When You’re Expecting
It’s like, better than horoscope! Not that I read or believe in horoscope—I don’t, let me make that one clear. It’s just that.. it’s cool how this website (and its tiny iPhone app) knows exactly what I’m going through in my pregnancy, sometimes even predicting what’s going to happen in the next couple of days.
This is what WTE tells me this week:
This is it — you’re two-thirds to the finish line at 28 weeks pregnant, as you enter the third trimester! And what a difference a trimester makes. Gone, most likely, are the days when you could call pregnancy “comfortable” (that is, if you ever did). These days, your baby’s kicking (or lack of) is keeping you up at night and worried during the day, your feet are swollen, you’re getting tired all over again, and your backache is a pain that just won’t quit. And even though he or she hasn’t started crying yet, it may seem that your baby’s getting on your nerves already — literally.
As your baby gets settled into a proper (you hope) position for birth, his or her head (and your enlarging uterus) may rest on the sciatic nerve in the lower part of your spine. And if that happens, you may feel sharp, shooting pain, tingling, or numbness that starts in your buttocks and radiates down the back of your legs — otherwise known as sciatica. The pain of sciatica can be quite intense at times, and though it may pass if your baby shifts positions, it can also linger until you’ve delivered.
A heating pad, a warm tub, stretches, or just some self-imposed bed rest can help with the discomfort. So can some complementary and alternative therapies.
What do you know, I’m now in my third trimester. And I’m feeling… everything WTE says I should be feeling. Except maybe that part where the fetal movements should start getting in my nerves by now—they don’t, really. In fact, given all the pregnancy pains and woes I’m feeling right now, it’s surely the best times of my day when the babies move and kick and have a little party inside my womb! :)
This morning in the train, one of the twins kicked from within the side of my belly and the lady who was sitting right next to me felt it! She gave me a smile and a “WOW”.
Well, WOW indeed.
A little less than three months to go. Please say a little prayer for these two little kickers (and their clueless Mommy & Daddy) when you have time.
Week 27: I Stand With Arms High and Heart Abandoned
This one is for keeps: My little family, all four of us, (my husband and I and the two little worshipers inside of me), leading worship at our church‘s Cell Leaders’ Conference. At 27 weeks.
I’ll let you in on how it’s like to lead worship with a pregnant tummy.
It’s extra-challenging, like any other task that requires you to stand for a period of time as you feel the additional weight that hangs around your belly. You have to maintain self-control whenever you feel like dancing or jumping, which can be a little frustrating when you see everyone else dancing and jumping the way you can’t do. You have to stop in the middle of songs to catch your breath. You feel some leg cramps and back pains but you soldier on anyway.
And then you start feeling fetal movements and some kicking inside of you, and you smile at that thought that the babies are most likely enjoying the drum beats and the music, and hearing their Mommy and Daddy’s muffled voices.
And could it be they’re worshiping too? :)
So you lift your hands and sing your heart out, short of breath, tears on your cheeks, muscle pains and all, heart abandoned to this awesome God—the Giver of life, your Source of strength, your Reason for living, your babies’ Creator. And you know you’re doing exactly what you were made to do.
And that.. is one of the best feelings in the world.