Category: Journal

The Key to Engaging with Your Readers

Rhiza1 Comment

There are two ways we can tackle this matter.

First, we can be very technical and talk about best practices.

I can discuss strategies, tools of trade, and how to integrate an email subscription system to your existing website and blog content.

I can talk about why you need an email list if you’re serious about engaging with your audience, or what specific mailer to use. I can discuss how to set up Mailchimp, how to automate emails, or how to incorporate sign up forms across your website.

I can also talk about why I started using Convertkit last year (hint: I probably should, in a separate post) and why it’s important for me to make that investment.

These are all essential to engaging with your readers.

You see, it’s one thing to attract random strangers to read your blog and have, well, a bunch of strangers reading your blog. It’s another thing to know who your regular readers actually are so you can engage with them well.

Or, we can talk about honesty and authenticity, and dive into the very heart of the matter.

I think I’m going to go with the latter. (Let’s talk about technical stuff another day.)

Today I want to share with you my top performing email sendout and what it taught me about engagement, honesty, and authenticity.

If you’ve been subscribed to Chasing Dreams for a while, you should be able to recall (or dig in your inbox to find) an email I sent out in November.

After relaunching this site and launching my first ever Blogging E-course, I went on for a few weeks without publishing any blog content. Although no one probably noticed this more than I did, it’s always a horrible feeling when you’re unable to hit goals you’ve set for yourself. (I’m still learning to cut myself some slack, really.)

I felt vulnerable that day. So vulnerable that instead of publishing a blog post, I wrote a letter to my email subscribers and shared with them my frustration.

I wrote why that period was one of the toughest weeks of the year for me. I shared what caused my exhaustion, and how I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself.

In hindsight, I probably didn’t want to publicly disclose the reason for my frustration. (Read: I didn’t want it published on the blog for everyone to see or make it look like I’m throwing in a blind item—that wasn’t my intention, at all.)

But I learned a lot from that experience, lessons I didn’t want to keep to myself, stuff that are important to me as a creative and as a person.

Most of all, I knew that my email subscribers were some of the people who could relate to my situation and would find those lessons relevant.

So I typed with my heart at the tip of my fingers. I took a deep breath and hit SEND. Within seconds, my email—that had my heart written all over it—had reached the mailboxes of hundreds of women around the world. Some of them I personally know, some I’m only acquainted with virtually, but most of them I only know by the name and email address they left on my subscribe form.

What happened next was a pleasant surprise.

When I wasn’t really expecting anything more than maybe a decent open rate or click-through rate, I started getting one reply after another, within several minutes from each other, from women who could relate and find inspiration from what I shared.

The replies kept coming in for about two days.

Some of them thanked me and gave me words of affirmation.

“Thank you for being an inspiration. I am going through a rough time myself and reading your posts lightens up my mood in a way.” 

“Riz. You inspire me. I love how you share and there is always a lesson, an inspiration, a motivation for readers to look further, chase more, delve deeper. I hope you won’t go away (again) anytime so soon. Hang in there.” 

“This is just so timely, and reading it affirmed me of my decision to say NO yesterday… Thank you for this, God sent you to tell me that my decision was right.” 

“…what you have said is true, that even if we make wrong decisions, it does not have to hinder our ability to see the beautiful things around us. And if it matters, I would like to let you know that you inspired me so much today :) so please just keep going!” 

“Oh… THANK YOU Rhiza.. THANK YOU because it is just sooo timely. I think I am about to say YES to something I think is important and helpful for the family too. And I am praying that it will be worth the sacrifice.. THANKYOU for the encouragement. i am blessed.. GOD BLESS you and the whole family MORE.” 

“Thank you for this very timely letter. This reply may not reach you or you may read this randomly but I want you to know that you have spoken right to my heart & I want to deeply thank you for it.” 

Some replied with their own stories to share.

They shared specific details of what they’re currently going through in their lives, some asked me to pray for them, others asked me how they can pray for me.

Others even took it to Facebook and quoted some of what I said in my email.

Take note that most of them are people I hardly know and yet somehow, it felt like we’re old friends who understood, accepted, and supported each other. Which is exactly what we hope to find in the online communities we’re part of, don’t we?

I’m sharing this not to brag about how amazing my email newsletters are and that you really should subscribe to Chasing Dreams. (Ehem, I mean, you can if you want to. Lol.)

But it’s really quite the opposite of that.

I’m sharing this because I remember feeling so undeserving of all the love, and yet somehow, in my frailties and mistakes, even with my most uninspiring and embarrassing of stories, people reached out to me to let me know that I am not alone.

This experience affirmed to me even more that, in this age where we’re facing massive content influx—great content, bad content, click bait content, countless of blog and social media posts published every minute—this ancient principle still holds true:

Honest, vulnerable and authentic storytelling is what your audience really needs.

Sure, there’s always a need for informative and actionable content, something that I’ve been intentionally creating more of lately here at Chasing Dreams. But time and again I find that the kind of content that truly engages readers are the ones that come from somewhere deep inside of you,

the ones that come out of the abundance of the heart,

the kind you’re sometimes afraid to write.

So I say, go ahead, dig into your heart and write what’s inside. In the midst of the noise and the fear, don’t be afraid to tell your story, talk about your mistakes, reference your personal experiences. Because somewhere out there, someone needs to hear exactly what you have to say.

As a fair warning, creating vulnerable and honest content will sometimes make other people judge you, or maybe make you lose readers. That’s okay. You may lose some of those readers but you’ll gain the right ones. 

So tell me. Are you engaging with the right people? Or are you aimlessly creating content for random strangers?

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Engaging with your readers is more than just setting up subscription forms, or managing email marketing campaigns. It’s all about authenticity and honesty.
Engaging with your readers is more than just setting up subscription forms, or managing email marketing campaigns. It’s all about authenticity and honesty.

5 Important Truths About Balancing a Full-time Job and a Side-Hustle

RhizaLeave a comment

Lately I’ve been seeing influencers quote these words “If you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs,”—as if that’s a bad thing.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being “hired to help build someone else’s dreams”—isn’t this the point of starting any honorable business at all, to build your dream while opening up job opportunities for others so they too can chase their own dreams?

I personally find it a great honor to help another dreamer, especially if this person’s dream involves making an impact to an even bigger group of people.

I do understand that Tony Gaskins’ context when he said the above quote is to not settle with a deadend job, to live out our potential so that we don’t spend our whole lives watching others live their dreams at the expense of our own. 

The only problem I have with this quotable quote is how it seems to compare “building your own dreams” to “being hired”, as if the latter is a less fulfilling or a less important role.

 

A little backstory

If you read my Career Page, you know that in the past 11 years, I jumped from a lucrative corporate job to home-based work, launched a few side-businesses, tried out freelance work, basically went back and forth corporate and home-based because of opportunities I couldn’t resist and circumstances beyond my control.

To say that I have enjoyed my career is an understatement. I just love working, really. And I’ve been so blessed to have enjoyed the best of both worlds that I still find myself torn sometimes between wanting to have my own business or going back to the corporate world. I just know I’d love it either way.

That said, as someone who has one foot on both sides of the fence, there are so many things I learned about “being hired” and “being my own boss”. And I want to share them here.

1. You can have an 8-5 job and still live a passionate, creative life.

I know people who have lived their whole lives being an employee, and they’re well and good. Contrary to what some full-time creative entrepreneurs would claim, others are totally happy and successful with their 8-5 jobs. Climbing up the corporate ladder excites them (something I can attest to), having a clear boundary between “work” and “home” relieves them of unnecessary stress, being mentored by industry leaders and working with a team gives them joy, retiring with a nice pension is not so bad of a plan too.

For the first 4 years of my career I maintained a corporate job and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Until now, I still see those years as the peak of my career. I loved my job, and my salary funded my travels and my creative pursuits. At one point I lived close to my office in the city, so even though I needed to work overtime on some days, I would just walk back to my rented condominium unit and be home in like 10 minutes. This set up gave me a lot of freedom to blog, hone my skills, work on personal projects, and take sideline gigs.

The point is, if you manage your time well, you can do your 8-5 job and still set aside 1-2 hours a day or your weekends to cultivate your creative skills or maybe start a creative business. With a fixed monthly salary, you’re also able to set aside budget for your passion projects and carefully plan your vacations and creative retreats.

Keeping your 8-5 job doesn’t mean you can’t live a creative life. You just have to learn how to embrace and make the most out of your unique situation.

2. Having your own business is not better than having an 8-5 job, and vice versa.

Everywhere we go online, we see articles telling people to break the mold of the 8-5 and start their own business or work from home like that’s the key to a free and happy life. Truth is, it really depends on how you’re wired.

Sometimes, being stuck in an office cubicle 8 to 10 hours a day just.. sucks. But when you start your own business, you realize that more often than not, you work even longer hours than when you had a full-time job. Having an 8-5 job is not for everyone, in the same way being an entrepreneur ain’t for everyone too. It’s just a matter of what fits you.

I have a friend who’s a Certified Public Accountant. She’s very successful in her career, and we all know how busy an accountant’s job can be! But she also happens to be a very good baker. She learned to bake bread, cupcakes and cookies, just by setting aside time on weekends to perfect the craft. And now she’s so good at baking that if she chooses to do so, she can actually make a living out of it. However, she loves being an Accountant too (not to mention she’s good at it) so why quit? Baking, therefore, remains as her creative outlet while Accountancy continues to be her chosen profession.

Having a business and being employed is like apples and oranges, or cats and dogs. One is not better than the other; again, it really depends on your unique circumstances, skills, and opportunities.

3. The grass is greenest where God planted you.

And since we’re talking about apples and oranges, we should talk about green pastures too. One of the greatest struggles of our generation is falling into the trap of comparisons. Because of social media (and #feedgoals), we see everyone’s highlight reel everyday, which makes our unfiltered lives pale in comparison.

The illusion that the grass is greener somewhere else is a major source of discontent, something that would kill our joy if we let it, and would cause us to make bad choices if we’re not careful.

Just because this certain blogger quit her job to start a home-based business doesn’t mean you should do it too. Just because this certain small business owner opened a physical store somewhere doesn’t mean you should take that path yourself. Or just because a friend has her feed filled with photos from her business travels doesn’t mean you’re missing out and you should change your career too.

Don’t get me wrong. Discontentment is sometimes a good motivation for you to work harder to have a better life. But the moment you start playing the comparison game, you realize that you’ll never really measure up. And sadly, the grass on the other side of the fence will always be greener.

God gave you unique gifts and experiences that brought you where we are today and prepare you for your future. If He gave you lemons, don’t force yourself to grow apples or oranges out of them. If you have an 8-5 job, go be the best employee you can be. If you have a business, embrace everything that comes with it.

4. Motherhood (or fatherhood) changes everything.

I’m saying this as a young mother who didn’t really anticipate how much motherhood would change my life. My career was everything to me. But when I became a mother, my passion, priorities and preferences shifted so drastically.

Once I imagined myself climbing up the corporate ladder in my pin-striped slacks and stilettos. And then motherhood happened and suddenly I’m working in my pajamas, my uncombed hair in a bun, a few feet away from my daughters and their tubs of playdoh.

The desire to establish my own business, in a way, stemmed from wanting to be around my family more. But when God blessed me with a full-time, salaried job that I get to do from home (which pays the bills and secures my career), I just know there’s no trading this opportunity for anything, especially in this season where we need to have a stable income and to take care of our family at the same time.

My side-hustle will have to stay, well, on the side. 

The point is, had there not been little mouths to feed, there’s a chance I’d have taken a different path or made riskier choices. Every decision my husband and I make now involves our children’s lives—how we want them to grow up and where, how to provide for them while being fully present in their young lives, how to stay sane. :)

If you’re a parent, you know exactly what I mean. If you’re single, well, you’ll know eventually. And may I add that if you’re single, don’t be afraid to take risks now while you can.

5. You can not do it all for an extended period of time, so decide what to keep and what to let go.

The truth is, it’s impossible to maintain a full-time job AND to expect your side-hustle to substantially grow at the same time. Let me explain. I’m not saying it’s impossible to do both at the same time, I’m saying it’s impossible to do both for an extended period of time.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I had to stop blogging and taking web design clients because, after a year of trying to do all the things, I succumbed to quite possibly the worst case of creative burnout in my career.

Starting a business is a lot of work, and keeping a full-time job can be quite demanding too. If your heart and your priorities are divided for an extended period, it’s only a matter of time before you get burnt out.

So if you ever decide to start a side-hustle while keeping your full-time job, it should be because you’re preparing yourself to go full-time on your business eventually. Otherwise, you will only end up spreading yourself too thinly, which will make both your 8-5 job and your side-hustle suffer.

Take note that this doesn’t only apply to 8-5ers wanting to start a business. It goes the other way around too.

I have a blogger friend who used to have a steady work-from-home job, but she went back to a full-time corporate job because it just makes more sense to her.

I have another friend who owns a business that she can manage full-time if she desires, except she really enjoys her corporate job. So she decided to keep her day job and hired people to oversee her business.

Everyone has a different calling; the important thing is to carve your own unique path, find your purpose, and live the life and career that God designed just for you.

If you’re thinking about starting a business, a trial period is a good way to test the waters. Give yourself 6 months to try out and see if it works out for you, or if the business sustains itself. Or maybe try applying for a corporate job again if you realize you’re more fit for that kind of setup.

In other words, knock and see which doors would open. ;)

When you find what it is that truly makes your heart soar—the kind of work that makes you jump out of bed in the morning eager to start the day—then decide to do that passionately and unapologetically.

A Year of Remaining and Being Still

Rhiza4 Comments

Everything about 2016 for me felt like a couple of days lagged, just like this post. We’re now on the 7th day of 2017 but here I am, still trying to make sense out of the year that was.

The truth is, I slowed down a lot in 2016 and it wasn’t the good kind of slowing down. I slowed down mostly out of helplessness, because I couldn’t go faster even when I tried so hard. I reluctantly let go of commitments, unintentionally stopped publishing blog posts, regretfully turned down projects mid-way, and fought through quite possibly my worst creative drought ever.

When I chose the word remain as my one word for 2016, I had a feeling that God would really strip me down to the end of my strength and willpower. He knows well how hard it is for me to “remain” that he made it possible by not giving me a choice.

to remain means:
to be left when the other parts are gone or have been used;
to stay in the same place or with the same person;
to stay after others have gone;
to continue unchanged;
to stay behind;

In all honesty, 2016 did feel a bit.. lonely

First off, it literally made me feel left behind.

It started with our yaya (nanny) leaving us in May to go back to her family. We had her for 3 years and although we’ve somewhat adjusted to a new yaya-less routine, we’ve carried the weight of her absence for sure.

It completely changed our family dynamics, placing me in the kitchen and laundromat a lot more than usual, and taking away a lot of hours from the routine we thought we already had figured out.

And then it was my brother (and his wife)’s turn to relocate for some work assignment abroad, officially adding to the list of people in my life who have gone away.

My brother’s always been a constant character in my life, and even though he’s still very much present (thank you, Internet!), his sudden physical absence has been giving me all sorts of feels.

My husband and I feel a sense of homesickness everywhere we go, like we don’t belong anywhere. People are migrating, colleagues are pursuing dream jobs, friends are launching projects and working together and going places, and many times I find myself wondering, what, Lord, is next for us? 

I just want to keep moving. I want to take the next flight to somewhere. Launch a new project. Do the next big thing. Chase the next big dream.

Instead, God would gently tell me, no, not yet, stay put, stand still. 

Remain.

He stripped me down to the barest minimum—just Him, my husband, the twins, house chores, work, rinse, repeat—and taught me what it’s like to remain in Him.

And while that sounds all romantic and mushy typed out, the process was really mostly.. messy.

I had to learn to surrender most all of what’s written on my planner, the daily to-do lists, the things I should be doing “by this time”, the projects and trips I was going to fill up 2016 with—basically everything I’ve plotted on the imaginary gantt chart of my life.

In the process, I had to learn to confidently say no, to let go, and to stand my ground even to the point of disappointing people, being judged, getting blocked off people’s lives and feeling like an outcast.

It was painful but it was necessary. It involved a lot of crying and doubting and picking broken pieces of myself. It was frustrating, and messy, and beautiful and humbling, all at the same time.

In fact, I’m still sitting right in the middle of that mess right now, still learning to embrace the struggle, still learning to acknowledge that none of this is up to me.

I’ve never felt more restless and rested, to be honest.

There’s a lot of peace in knowing that there’s nothing I could have done to save that client, or to earn more money, or to speed up the process, or to make them understand and accept me.

My husband and I are reminded time and time again that as long as we live according to God’s Word and follow His lead, everything is under His prerogative. It doesn’t matter how we feel or how bad it looks sometimes, He is working things out. And that simple truth brings me the strength, contentment, and joy that I so badly need.

The joy is in the process

In my selfishness and desperation, I went into 2016 wanting that joy that was promised in John 15:11.

7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 

What God taught me loud and clear is that, I don’t need to reach the finish line to experience joy. The joy is right here, in the process, right in the mess of it all.

In hindsight, amidst the constant desire for bigger things, I’ve never enjoyed the little things more. To say that I have immensely loved and enjoyed this precious season with my family is an understatement. Watching the girls become their own unique selves, my husband and I enjoying jobs we get to do from the confines of home, growing together in love and in faith, seeking God’s purpose for our family together. You know, the good stuff.

We’ve grown deeper roots, learned new perspectives, and gained this new found joy—the kind that shines through the loneliest hours and unfair criticisms and unanswered questions.

That was a beautiful year of remaining, indeed.

Thank you, Father, for 2016.

November was Beautiful, As Always

Rhiza1 Comment

I don’t like not blogging in November. Which explains why I’m here now, thinking about November on the first day of December, waxing poetic about my most favorite month that has just gone by.

I don’t know when November started to become a favorite. It must have been in 2008 when I went to Sydney and fell in love at first sight. Or maybe it was New York in 2010. Pretty sure a lot of it has to do with taking home our daughters from the hospital on a November morning and being first time parents in 2012.

November for us came with beautiful milestones, but more than that, I love it for what it represents.

The month starts with All Souls’ Day and ends with Thanksgiving. It’s the month to look back and remember the lives of those who went ahead of us, and to be thankful for the life we now live. It’s the celebration of the past and the present. It begins with bittersweet memories and ends in joyful celebrations; with mourning and then dancing. 

It’s the season of gratitude and rejoicing. Of leaves turning, and winds shifting, and wardrobes changing.

November is like, the calm before the storm.

I think God made Novembers to allow us to breathe before the holiday rush takes over the malls, the roads, our homes. It’s a time of transitions and courageous pursuits, of leaps of faith and quiet reflections.

It’s the last chapter before the last chapter, where the story wraps up and culminates for the big finale. It’s quite an important month, really, but most of us won’t know it until it’s over.

So I’m taking a moment today to have one last deep breath before diving in to December. Oh how time flies.

Thank you, sweet November, for all the sweet moments amidst the tough ones, and for ushering us to December beautifully. We shall see you again next year.

My One Word for 2016: Remain

Rhiza6 Comments

oneword

This took me long enough. :)

For the past three years I made it a point skip the New Year’s resolutions and just pick one word that would help me align my plans and goals for the year. In 2014, my one word was passion. Last year, it was pursue. 

Can you tell, based on those two huge words—pursue and passion—how intense the past 2 years were for me?

Don’t get me wrong, the past 2 years were amazing in every way and I can only be grateful for all of it; but there were many times also that I had to pull myself together and fight through the overwhelm and burnout.

Enter 2016 and I went spiraling down and falling into one of the lowest points of my creative and professional life.

I wanted to quit everything.  Continue reading “My One Word for 2016: Remain” →

When You’re Feeling Uninspired

Rhiza11 Comments

Are you ready for some honesty?

I think I may have hit one of the lowest points of my life at the start of this year. No I wasn’t feeling heartbroken or devastated or anything that alarming. Instead, I was feeling indifferent and lethargic and uninspired like it’s so hard to move and do anything at all.

And so I faced my responsibilities like a robot since the beginning of the year, and while I do get tasks done, I know I haven’t really been doing my best.

This is something unexpected, considering I ended last year on a high note and had a much-needed break in New York City. I looked forward to that trip, thinking it would recharge my batteries and give me the rest and inspiration I need to hit the ground running this year.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. Our New York trip was nothing short of amazing (for lack of a better word). I could talk about this experience for days, really! Except, the end of that trip left me feeling drained and even more overwhelmed than I already was.

Strangely, this blog has become a huge help for me as I processed my thoughts. Reading through past challenges and victories has reminded me that the God who got me through the worst and the best times of my life is the same God who is ever present and in control of my life today, whatever the circumstances may be. What a relief!

I’m still not out of the woods yet but by grace, I can finally see some clarity. I learned so much in this time of drought, and if somehow you’re going through the same thing in your life right now I just want you to know that—

It’s ok to not be ok sometimes.

We don’t need to pretend to be put-together all the time or to force ourselves to be ok. Concealing it is not going to make things better.

We often see “not being ok” as a sign of weakness, but really, it takes a lot of bravery to admit that you are not ok. You’ll realize that the sooner you admit this to yourself, the more open you are to asking for help and for prayers, and making steps towards the right direction.

It’s ok to prioritize yourself.

I don’t know where it started, the notion that prioritizing yourself is irresponsible and selfish. It’s not true.

A wise woman I look up to once told me something that blew my mind. She’s close to her 60s, very successful in her career, the breadwinner of her family, and managed to raise 3 beautiful children who now live successful and steady lives. People see her as a “superwoman”, and yet she admitted that one of her greatest regrets is that she didn’t take care of herself enough.

She told me that as a wife and mother, my list of priorities should look like this:

  1. Relationship with God
  2. Relationship with husband
  3. Relationship with children
  4. Taking care of myself
  5. Managing the household
  6. Everything else (extended family, career, friends, ministry)

What blew my mind really is the realization that wow, I’m actually allowed to prioritize myself?! I mean, my usual priority list skipped #4, as if it’s the last thing I should squeeze in my tight budget and schedule.

I never really looked at it this way; in fact, I often felt bad about thinking of my needs before my, say, ministries. It does make sense, to put yourself in your own priority list. After all, you cannot give what you do not have!

You can’t love others if your love tank is empty. And you can’t be strong for others if your strength is running low.

So whenever you’re feeling uninspired or burnt out, it’s probably time for some self-care. Get some beauty sleep. Read a book. Go to the parlor. Round up your trusted friends and ask for prayers. Separate your time for yourself from your time with your family. And don’t feel guilty doing so.

It’s ok to wander aimlessly.

I spent a lot of time wandering around, reading blogs, finishing a book, listening to music, watching TV—wasting time away, it seemed. It made me feel a bit guilty at first, not feeling productive with my time and not tackling on the things I was supposed to do. Soon enough, I stopped feeling bad about it. Instead, I became intentional about the blogs I read, the shows I watched and the music I listened to.

I was particularly drawn into creative channels that give me joy, stir my heart, point me to God’s Word, and inspire me to dream. I realized that time spent wandering resulted in my creative tank getting filled up again and getting me back on my feet. It was good.

It’s ok to talk to God about your struggles.

As someone who had human struggles that were far worse than we’ll ever have, He sure knows and understands our pain. So don’t be afraid, to be honest with Him, tell Him your frustrations, and ask Him questions. After all, He knows what’s in your heart, even more than you know yourself.

Sure we don’t hear His voice audibly like in Biblical times, but He does speak in ways that we can understand—through His word, the affirmation of people we trust, our own circumstances, and the still small voice inside our hearts. If you’re connected to His Word and through prayers daily, you won’t miss it.

So quiet yourself before Him and listen to what He has to say. He knows what you’re going through. And He knows the way out. You only have to take His lead.

Whatever challenges you have today, I pray that you will find comfort and assurance in these truths, just as I have. :)

God bless!