Week 30: Through Good and Bad Days

I’ve been going through a lot of rough days lately. I wake up and go through the day with all sorts of pain in literally all parts of my body, and I have to endure looong trips from home to work and back each day. Sometimes I can’t point exactly where the pain is coming from anymore; all I know is, sleeping, walking, standing up and even breathing takes a lot more effort now than ever.

Plus my baby bump is HUGE! The photos above were taken about a month ago, so I’ve grown significantly bigger since then. To illustrate how big my bump is, last week during my pre-natal checkup, two other pregnant mommies were in the waiting room with me. After some small talk, I learned that they were already in their 9th month of pregnancy.. and yet, my 30-week old tummy was still bigger than theirs. It’s heavy, and it’s no joke having to carry around additional 40 pounds of placenta, amniotic fluid, and two actively kicking babies, while balancing them with my short, chubby legs.

But God sends angels to help me through each day—strangers who willingly give up their seats for me in crowded trains, churchmates and colleagues who thoughtfully bring me cookies and pastries, godmothers who hand-me-down maternity dresses, family and friends who volunteer to drive and run errands for us, prayer warriors everywhere.

And then there’s my husband who tells me I’m beautiful even when all I feel is fat and ugly, who holds my hand through a contraction or a cramp, and listens intently when I rant about the challenges of my day, and makes room in our budget for occasional shopping sprees when I’m feeling sad about not having anything to wear anymore, and picks me up from work everyday without fail.

And then there’s these two little angels who nudge me from within—fetal movements that, to me, translate to “We love you, Mommy!“, or “We’re okay Mommy, don’t worry about us!“, or “You’re not alone Mommy, we’re here.”

I’m surrounded by love everyday.

Sure, there may be moments of weakness.. days when I wish for this phase to be over and done with already; or moments when I feel sad about not being able to wear heels; or times when I get scared about going under the knife. But mostly there is just pure joy, and sheer excitement, and childlike wonder, and a lot of marveling at how intricately God creates life and how He takes care of His children.

This pregnancy is doing me good. I want to remember this time of my life forever.

*Word art by Paislee Press, thank you.