Chasing Dreams

One year and one month

November 24, 2013May 13, 2019 Rhiza3 Comments

How do you blog about your baby’s first birthday? I totally missed doing that, and it’s weird because I was so sure that I was not going to miss out on blogging about that milestone.

I was going to write an open letter to Dawn and Rain. I’d tell them how much they’ve changed our lives and how thankful we are to God for this beautiful first year. I was going to post lots of photographs from their birthday party, which would be beautifully styled and DIY-ed like the ones you see on Pinterest.

But then their first birthday party happened, and all I could think about doing after weeks of preparations was to lie down in bed the whole day with the twins and their Daddy, and laugh at how silly these two are becoming. Which was pretty much what happened.

And then the following days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to a month,

and here we are.

The open love letter I imagined myself writing became a short cover photo caption posted on Facebook, which simply said

Dear Dawn & Rain,

You probably didn’t care so much, blowing your first birthday cake. But for me and your Daddy, it was a beautiful moment, a milestone, we’ll remember forever. Thank you for giving us reasons to celebrate life everyday.

Love, Mommy

I meant it with all my heart, no doubt about it, but it was about a thousand words short of how I imagined their first birthday love letter should be, and what I really wanted to say.

And these photographs, haha.

When we had Isaac‘s first birthday party, there was not a single photograph of him smiling. I thought to myself, when I have babies, I would make sure they were smiling on their first birthday photos.

I guess even that is beyond my control.

Life is just too big for words

The truth is, I stare at blank spaces a lot these days. Blank WordPress screen, blank Facebook status field, blank pages of my journal. All waiting for me to pour my heart out.

Time is flying swiftly and most of my reflections these days remain in my head (and my heart), unwritten. Dawn & Rain are growing too fast, and I’m sometimes scared of missing out on that. As much as I want to capture every moment so that someday I can relieve them, God is teaching me every day to live each moment as they come, and then let them go.

Lara Casey blogged about this so eloquently, and for lack of better words, I quote (emphases mine):

As a creative, I am compelled to create because I want to mirror back to the world God’s goodness. I want to create with every fiber of my being. I try so hard. I try to share and create what I think will help. I try to share what I hope will inspire Grace one day to know and love Him. I try, but sometimes I get really tired trying to pour the ocean of life into a little cup. Most of my favorite moments don’t get photographed because I’m completely immersed in them. And sometimes life is just too big for words.

Well there you go. I bold-faced phrases for emphasis, and then underlined some words in those phrases for even more emphasis. I laugh at myself for being such a weirdo sometimes. On a serious note, that’s how much her words resonate with how I feel and what I really want to do around here.

Go ahead, read the whole thing.

Today marks Dawn & Rain’s 13th month. Oh wow, I’ve been a Mommy for 13 months!

And like a broken record I would say it over again, it still often feels like I’m living in a dream.

Happy 13 months, my loves.

Thoughts on Yolanda, and the little ones

November 23, 2013May 13, 2019 Rhiza1 Comment

It was hard for me to blog about Yolanda. We posted a massive list of resources on the aftermath of the typhoon in our company blog, but as far as blogging how I felt about what’s happening, I was at a loss for words.

That’s how I usually feel, watching the news or browsing Facebook. At one point I even wished people would start posting selfies again, if only to get a break from the sad news that seemed to never end.

Young girls stare at the full moon outside a makeshift shelter in Tacloban. (CNN)

Ondoy (2009) moved me to act, Sendong (2011) caused me to reflect, but Yolanda.. Yolanda made me feel weak in the knees.

Yolanda came on the weekend of my Dad’s birthday, and while we celebrated the life of my Dad that day, we knew at the back of our minds that somewhere, people are grieving the death of their loved ones.

Even more devastating, that some parents are mourning the loss of their children.

My heart breaks the most for the children.

They’re too young! They’re not supposed to go through something this tough. They’re not supposed to die.

And the babies! My heart bleeds for them. Dawn & Rain came out prematurely at 35 weeks and they needed incubation. I can not, for the life of me, imagine how those premature babies would survive without the aid of incubators.

Will they make it? Are their mommies going to be okay? Are they going to live to tell the story?

When I think about these children, a song plays in my mind like a gentle reassurance,

“..suffering children are safe in Your arms, there is none like You.”

God has a special place in His heart for the little children, and the thought that He knows what He’s doing ends all questions and doubts.

It’s ironic how, the sight of these young typhoon survivors can easily break your heart and give you hope at the same time. Continue reading “Thoughts on Yolanda, and the little ones” →

Starbucks Double Date

November 11, 2013November 13, 2013 Rhiza2 Comments

It’s November and the Christmas drinks at Starbucks are here. So on Saturday morning, I convinced my husband to go to the nearest Starbucks with me so that I could get my Toffee Nut fix.

But his idea was even more ~~crazy~~ brilliant: Take the twins with us and have a little family date. And so we did, and what I got was more than just a satisfied craving.

Going to Starbucks has always meant for me either one of these two things: (1) to meet friends for some catching up, or (2) to have some alone time with my laptop, my earphones, and my thoughts. Bringing along two giddy little girls is surely a deviation from my usual Starbucks “dates”.

Instead of having a meaningful conversation, my husband and I had our hands full—holding the babies close, feeding them, entertaining them, singing songs to them, and making sure they didn’t fall off the couch.

But in the midst of the riot, I found myself pausing for one moment and holding back tears of joy.

It was my Dad’s birthday that day.

He would have been 64, and I still often find myself wishing that he’s around to spoil his grandchildren rotten, watch them grow, and steal them from us every now and then so that the parents can go away for a date haha.

But even if there’s a little bit of sadness in that thought, mostly there was joy knowing that a part of my Dad lives on.

So we placed a little candle on our Banoffee Pie to remember the life of the Great Lolo Bob who still never fails to inspire us even until now, 6 years after he’s gone to be with the Lord.

Happy birthday, Dad. Happy birthday, Lolo. We love you.

I praise God for moments like this.

In fact, I look forward to moments like this. Afternoons when we can just slow down and breathe in this new life that we have as a family. Times when we can bring them along wherever we go (while they still have no choice!), take them to places we love, and make some happy core memories.

And okay, maybe I’m a little too excited about making memories. They just turned one year old and surely they won’t have a recollection of this day just yet.

But someday.. someday, they’ll start to remember.

In the meantime, I’ll keep taking photographs and writing memories down.

Angel + Ivy: There’s Something About New Yorkers

November 7, 2013August 6, 2022 Rhiza2 Comments

I cannot even begin to enumerate the differences between Ivy and me. Growing up, our friendship has always been based on our opposite personalities which either clashed comically or complemented perfectly. We were as different from each other as friends could ever be, but I love that in spite of the (many) differences, we always find a common ground to stand on.

And then we fell in love with New Yorkers

..and suddenly, we have so many things in common! To name a few, a screwed up body clock (always chasing Eastern Standard Time), a collection of souvenirs and merch from New York, empty Island Rose boxes stacked up in our bedrooms, birthday presents wrapped in Fedex packaging, long distance relationship woes, those dreams of potentially settling down in the same state in America.

If there’s one thing I get about Ivy and Angel’s relationship, it’s how, when God destines two people to be together, no distance or timezone or opposition—not even differences in culture—can stand in the way.

Love will always, always, win.

Today marks their first wedding anniversary, and I’m suddenly overflowing with joy right now like it was just yesterday.

On their wedding day, I couldn’t fit into my bridesmaids gown because of post-pregnancy weight gain. And my husband and I missed the wedding march because I was breastfeeding babies. Still we came in time to witness the joy, and the beauty, and the promises that were made.

A lot of discussions were put to an end that day. And a lot of prayers were answered too.

And God! God was glorified! Ohh, God was rightfully glorified that day, indeed. It’s weddings like this that you know God was behind everything, there’s just no denying it.

Around the time Ivy was organizing their wedding, I was too pregnant to be any help at all. But there’s one thing I knew I could do and am honored to have done—their wedding invitations!

When you’re friends with someone “since birth”, it takes a long time to get used to the fact that we’re ~~adults now~~ not kids anymore. I guess for that reason it makes sense that I waited a year to post this one. I realized (just now actually, LOL) that it took me a year to take this all in—

Ivy is married. She’s married! And she’s leaving anytime soon. (For the record, that last bit would take me another year to grasp.) I’m just glad that any form of separation from this girl is not permanent. I know, I just know, that we’ll always find each other.

Happy 1st Anniversary, Ivy & Angel. Your love story is legendary. We’re so blessed to have witnessed it front and center. We love you!

Hello, it’s been a while

November 2, 2013May 13, 2019 Rhiza3 Comments

(Back from an unplanned blog hiatus.)

One of the best practices in keeping a blog is consistency. Whenever we pitch Blogging and Content Marketing to potential clients or present monthly reports to existing ones, we would always emphasize to them the importance of updating blogs consistently. We would tell them to strictly follow an editorial calendar, and to create a blogging habit.

I’m obviously not practicing what I preach. Oops.

Instagrams from the past month.

For what it’s worth, I’ve been blogging a lot (quite a lot, actually).. just not here at Chasing Dreams.

It feels a little weird to be blogging for a living now when it used to be just my time away from work. Not that I’m complaining. I’m happy to see the WordPress dashboard everyday. I really just have to find a slot for Chasing Dreams in my super hectic editorial calendar. Which I intend to do. One of these days.

Where oh where did October go?

The past month was full. We set up candy buffets. I was featured at Dainty Mom’s Mom Bliss. I joined Martine’s Brand Bliss Workshop. I signed up in Darrah Parker’s LensMama. I started a new instagram account, specifically for this blog. I attended some sessions at the recently concluded Search Engine Marketing Conference 2013. We spent time with a cousin who’s visiting from New York.

And there’s the usual: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays in Makati. Thursday nights with our bible study group. Sundays in church. In my interview with Martine, I shared in detail what a day in my life looks like. Feel free to visit her blog to read the feature. ;)

On top of all that, October is Dawn & Rain’s birthday month

The twins turned one last week and last Sunday was their first birthday party. The week before that was spent DIY-ing decorations, working on the guest list, inviting friends, coordinating things. Step a little further back and the past 2 months were spent working on extra-income sidelines to save up for the costs of the party.

Remnants from their first birthday party.

And then the day of the party came, and I didn’t get to take a single photograph! Big deal, for someone who takes photographs of practically everything. Good thing a friend brought his camera, and volunteered to cover the event and capture moments. It feels liberating to let someone else do something I would have insisted doing myself.

No regrets

I missed a lot of deadlines this month. I had to turn down opportunities. I said no to some invitations. I had to let go of some personal effects to accommodate more important responsibilities.

All in exchange for limitless smiles, screaming duets, new tricks, small hands that pull my hair in the morning, and tiny yawns that smell like pancakes at night—fleeting moments of bliss that affirm to me that I am right where I’m supposed to be, and everything else I plan to do in my life can wait.

And that.. is where October went.

No regrets. No regrets at all.

Tuesdays with Normi

September 19, 2013May 13, 2019 Rhiza2 Comments

Tuesdays. It’s an unusual day of the week to go out with girlfriends but for some reason, Normi & I keep seeing each other on Tuesdays. Totally unintentional, in fact I just thought about it now. Reminds me of Mitch Albom, who learned life’s greatest lessons on Tuesdays (with Morrie, yes!), except that I’m not seeing an old terminally ill professor.

Instead, I’m seeing an old friend whom I happen to journey this mommy life with.

Normi announced that she’s pregnant with baby number 2 on Facebook the day before we saw each other, and our usual Mommy date became a celebration of sorts. We pampered ourselves with a pedicure at Dashing Diva, and had our afternoon coffee at Cafe Breton. Correction: coffee for me, crepes for the preggy. No caffeine for you, little one.

Normi and I have come a long way. We grew up in Sunday School together, shared an apartment in our heydays, got engaged on the same month of the same year (September 2010, woot!), got married in the same year (2011), and now.. traversing this motherhood together. Having been friends with someone that long, it’s beautiful to witness another person grow inside and out. Conversations become more matured, and dreams become more for others than for ourselves.

It’s rare finding such friendship, and I’m happy to have this one with Normi.

That said, you know what else was birthed from these Tuesday afternoon dates?

We launched a mommy blog and called it “This Mommy Life”

One Tuesday afternoon, after rambling for hours about our new “career” as Moms, we went home and launched a blog for new moms like us.

Continue reading “Tuesdays with Normi” →