Category: Faith Walk

Reflections About God, His Word and His Work

My One Word for 2014: Passion

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I’ve been making lists my whole life—on paper, in digital notepads and Word documents, even in my head. I find that making lists makes me more organized and productive, which allows me to accomplish more. This year is no exception. Somewhere on the pages of my journal I wrote down my dreams and goals for 2014, and if I would sum up in one word how I want 2014 to look like it’s got to be this word: passion.

It’s a scary word to use, I know. Passion is such a heavy word, and it scares me that I may not be able to live up to it. Ohhh but I’m ready.

This year is going to be the year I will pursue what I’m passionate about, in the same way I will rekindle my passion for what I already have.

Embracing new passions and chasing new dreams

The truth is, for the past 3 years I feel like I’ve given up some of the things I’m passionate about: Travel, photography, gadgets, collecting pretty things, adventures. The other thing I’ve given up is my disposable income, which is not exactly a “passion”, but something that funds my passions. Being a mother now and raising a family, I have to be purposeful in the way I use time and money, and my “passions” have to take the backseat. No more travels, no more impulsive splurges, no more unnecessary spending.

But hey, how can I complain about losing so much when I’ve gained so much more? And then it hit me. It’s not that I’ve given up my passions. It’s more like, the things I’m passionate about changed for the better. And surely I wouldn’t trade what I have now with what I used to have.

Soon as I wrapped my head around that obvious truth, it became easier to focus on what matters most, and to know what I’m truly passionate about. Everything else I desire to do is hinged on those important things.

#21dayfast

My husband and I are on day 4 of a 21 day fast right now. Yesterday as we were talking about our vision for this year, my eyes were suddenly brimming with tears. Happy tears. Expectant tears. Tears that come out from eyes that have seen in the past how God can make impossible things happen. Tears that bring forth clarity and assurance that God can make things happen again.

This is the year that I am going rekindle my passion for everything that God calls me to do. This is the year that I will pursue the things that make me restless at night, things that wake me up early in the morning eager to start the day. Anything short of that is not good enough.

Hello, passion. Let’s do this.

Oh hello, 2014

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And so 2014 came faster than I could say “goodbye 2013”. I feel like there’s still so much I haven’t really processed about the past year, and I need more time for closure. What a year it has been! I’m glad, though, that time doesn’t wait for us, and that God’s timing does not depend on our pacing or our (in)ability to catch up. Oh my, if time waited for me, I wouldn’t have moved forward so much.

Hello, 2014

First sunset of 2014.

Our yaya took a week-long holiday to end the year, and so the time I would normally spend reflecting and making year-ender lists was spent doing chores. Not complaining at all, I have loved serving my little family, and attending to Dawn & Rain’s cries and needs. My husband and I learned a lot about teamwork, and while we’re already missing our yaya by now (LOL), we welcome times like this where we can be on our own and enjoy quality time, just the four of us.

The last week of the year felt like a loooong day! A meaningful one at that.

From the rising of the sun to the setting of the same (Psalm 113:13)

I took a picture of the sunset on our way home from Island Cove, where we spent New Year’s Eve with some close family friends (the ones I talked about in this post). It was a good time to catch up and relax, away from the noise and pollution of the city but still close enough to watch the sky lit with fireworks.

By the way, Thank you Salvios, Cabanbans, and Escanos, for letting us crash your little NYE party. We enjoyed every single moment of it. :)

The end of 2013 and the start of 2014 felt just like that moment on the road. Ninang Vi and Kuya Mike took us home. We flew by the Cavitex highway, witnessing the sun as it set on the first day of the year. And then we were stuck in super heavy traffic in Baclaran, which I took as another opportunity to ask questions, listen to stories, and learn. And then EDSA was a breeze (oh you wish EDSA was always like that!), and suddenly we were back in our messy, yaya-less home. Everything was the same as we left it, but we were the ones that changed.

We were sooo tired and yet so full. Being around people I love and respect, I always look forward to learning bits and pieces from their life and taking mental notes of things I can apply to mine. I enjoy meaningful conversations. There’s so much to learn, especially from people who have experienced God’s miraculous work in their lives.

More importantly, starting the year with my little family, even with a messy house, my heart swells with so much love and renewed strength like I can take on whatever 2014 has in store.

The first day brings momentum while the second day brings reality

This brings me back to my January 2, 2012 post. I love the simplicity of “the day after”. There’s quietness and calm in it, when the confetti and wrapping papers have been cleaned up and the noise have died down.

Today is January 2, 2014, and my husband and I woke up to the sound of Rain and Dawn babytalking with each other. They were quietly playing in their corner of the bed, and soon as they saw me open my eyes, they gave me the sweetest smile. They crawled up to me, Rain leaned her head on my chest and Dawn touched my face.

Ahh, this is the life.

And then my husband and I spent the first hours of the day working on our 21-Day Fasting Journal. I’m so proud of the girls for staying in their crib and quietly watching their Veggie Tales while Daddy and Mommy have some quiet time.

I’m excited! 2014 is the year of the Lord, and I’m looking forward to what He has in store for me and for our little family this year and beyond.

Sweet Novembers

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And so the past month ended with us attending a beautiful garden wedding, and I knew we couldn’t have said goodbye to November any better.

My husband and I doubled as dessert buffet suppliers and invited guests to a friend’s wedding, and we have loved the excuse to take out his coat and my gown from the back of our closet and dress up for an unusual Saturdate.

Christmas in November

It almost felt like stepping inside a different world!

Fernwood Gardens has changed a lot since the last time I was there. The glass garden is still as lush as ever, but they also opened a lounge area with a country feel in it, complete with a collection of vintage things. (I was completely blown away seeing an Underwood up close!)

It was the same venue of my brother’s wedding in 2008, and I remember inviting my ex-boyfriend to come be my date, but he was halfway across the world and naturally, was unable to make it.

Fernwood Gardens

Five years later, I was back in the very same place, this time, with him.

Can you tell I’m still swooning?  Continue reading “Sweet Novembers” →

30 Life Lessons I Learned in 30 Years

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You know what happens when you turn 30? Nothing much, really. You probably still do the same kind of job, you’re most likely still in love with the same person you’ve been in love with for the past 5 years, you still fit in the same sets of clothes, your looks probably hasn’t changed all that much.

But when you zoom out and look at how your life has changed year, after year, after year, you’ll find yourself rhetorically asking yourself, how on earth did I end up here again? 

I turned 30 years old about three months ago, and some of you probably remember that I’ve always wanted to post something like this on my 30th birthday. Three months in the making, here’s my attempt at putting together a 30-item list of lessons I learned in the past 3 decades. Some of these items may not apply to everyone, some of them others may not agree with, but all of them are based on my personal experience and are proven true in this life of mine.

And surely I learned more than just 30 lessons in the past 30 years. I’m just sharing the ones I remember so well, hoping that you’ll pick up a thing or two. :)

Continue reading “30 Life Lessons I Learned in 30 Years” →

There’s No Easy Way to Say Goodbye

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Normally, when you keep doing something over and over again, you get better at it. It’s the reason why musicians practice all the time, and athletes go through regular trainings. Repetition does wonders in honing a skill.

Sadly, saying goodbye doesn’t work that way.

No matter how many times you watch someone leave, the process just doesn’t get easier. And no matter how many times you said “good bye” in the past, the next time breaks your heart worse than the last.

Few weeks ago, our friend Robert (the guy I was talking about in this post) left the Philippines to be with his wife in London. I’ve gotten so used to having him around all the time—knocking on our door in his pambahay and unbrushed hair (sometimes unbrushed teeth! lol) as if our house is an extension of his living room. He’s the “older brother I never had” as I would always tell him, and when my husband was adjusting to life back here in Manila, he was one of his first few friends.

And suddenly, he left for good.

Last week, another friend Joana (one of the girls I was talking about in this post) left the Philippines to migrate to California with her family. I’ve always wanted to have a sister, I guess that’s why I channeled all of that energy to girlfriends like J. She’s my prayer partner for years, she’s one of my bridesmaids, a part of my cell group, my nephew’s godmother, and now she’s my daughters’ godmother too—that’s just about the list of titles she’s claimed in my life.

And now she’s halfway across the world.

In a span of a month, two people who are huge parts of my life left for good, taking pieces of me with them, and I’ve been struggling with their (physical) absence and the finality of their departures since.

But how can I not be happy for them? 

Robert reunited with his wife Tin, and they finally started their married life together after months of LDR. As for Joana, her family’s immigrant visas were approved after decades of waiting and praying for them. These are all good news!

The funny thing about saying goodbye

To be sad about people leaving is almost like selfish. And to be happy about their absence feels wrong too. On one hand, you’re sad to see people go, and you know that life (as you know it) is never going to be the same again. On the other hand, you’re happy to see their prayers answered and their dreams come true!

So you find yourself in between two strong emotions that pull and tear your heart apart in two extremely opposite directions.

What I learned about saying good bye

As one who experienced a lot of moving around in her younger years, and went through a torturous long distance relationship, saying good bye to places and to people I love is the hardest. At one point I thought I’ve gotten used to saying goodbye, but as I grow older, I often wish I would never go through that kind of pain ever again.

But things change. Time flies. People leave. That’s just the way it is. Change involves pain, and pain forces us to grow. It causes us to see situations with eternal eyes and teaches us the art of letting God do His thing. It helps us loosen our grip off tangible things—people, places, routines; and causes us to embrace the more important things, the ones that last forever—friendships, memories, lessons.. and that kind of love that transcends space and time.

When we look at saying goodbye that way, it’s not such a bad thing after all.

Chasing Dreams, Year 3: What I was doing exactly a year ago

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I’ve been blogging for almost a decade now, but it’s only been 3 years since I registered Chasingdreams.net and made a permenant residence in this space. I’ve jumped from one domain name to another all these years, and from various blogging platforms too, but I’m happy to report that I think I’m staying here for the long haul. :)

And yes, I’ve been practicing.

It’s always good to celebrate milestones, yeah? And since we’re halfway through the year, I thought it’s time to mark June and July in my blog calendar too. For this purpose, let me answer this question my husband and I had fun asking ourselves as Year 2012 was about to begin:

What were you doing exactly this time last year?

My answer: Holding our breath and being blown away by how God was answering our prayers one by one, is what we were doing exactly a year ago.

Thank you, Facebook timeline, for making my trip down the memory lane a breeze. I smiled and laughed as I browsed through my Facebook posts from June and July of 2011, and how full those months were. A new job, two months to prepare for a wedding, family gatherings and bridal showers in between long days at work, David coming back to the Philippines after more than 10 years living in New York, answered prayers here and there.

The days were so full, in fact, I only blogged once during that period, admitting that I was at the end of my strength. There was just too much happening that time I can’t remember now how God managed to pull it all off, but myy, did He pull it off so awesome-ly.

Looking back, I honestly don’t think I want to do those months over again! It’s the kind of feat that’s meant to happen only once in a life’s journey, I guess that’s why people are supposed to get married just once their whole lives. No, really.

Today I share the joy (and the stress, hah!) of my friends and loved ones who are  taking the highway to marital bliss these coming months. Jasper and Darlene. Kuya TJ and Tracy. Kat and Ish. Ivy and Angel. Robert and Tin. Jody and Vince. I’m rooting for you, guys! It’s an exciting adventure, challenging yet fulfilling, stressful but worth it. There won’t be butterflies and unicorns all over the place, you may even have to make difficult choices and go through heartbreaking situations, but trust me.. the best is still yet to come.

So yay, it’s been a year since our own pre-wedding adventure, and it’s been 3 years since www.chasingdreams.net started to exist. I think I’m getting myself a Banoffee Pie and a Grande cup of chilled milk to celebrate. :)